friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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