I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
