just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
