She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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