the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
