I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize