I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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