Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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