my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
