Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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