You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
