Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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