I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
