Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
