Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize