Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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