oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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