that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
