Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize