I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Two words: blizzard sex
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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