Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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