Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
