i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
