Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
