She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize