too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
