I'm really into asian looking animals
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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