this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
