how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
