fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
