Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The air was thick with penises
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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