Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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