i think i have herpe
just one?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
