Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
