You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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