So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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