i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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