this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
