alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
