Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think i got beer on your cat.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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