Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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