Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I need moral support for this bender
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
