found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
