yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
