Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
