hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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