Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
