well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
