he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
