My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
