im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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