She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and she was petting her beer can
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize