yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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