Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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