a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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