I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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